self improvement

in pursuit of truth,
no door left unopened.
tear down this kingdom
of piss and shit
with his hands and fingernails.
at the end there's

keyhole left.
it ends here.
gaze inside
and stare the beast i

n the eye.
he sees a beast
but who is it
other than his own wretched soul
adorned with a crown of latex and lint
the king of his kingdom

of piss and shit.
for having murdered
all citizens
he himself
is the last one
and now owns the crown.

wait, leave this door locked.
walk out the palace
and let this land be.

--

So I've been trying pretty hard to expand my range of activities during these first few weeks. Finding an interest and a group of people that I could jive with, you know? So far, I've committed to primarily culture clubs: UKS and VSU. Culture's a pretty easy common ground and I've wanted to live my life as a nomad so this works out pretty well.

So far, UKS is pretty cool. I really like the people here. Everyone's from Long Beach, a city which I really like because it reminds me of home. The club's also small, which is a plus.

VSU's stuff starts up this week and so does CAPSA. CAPSA, I'm tempted to go to the spits on Tuesday just to expose myself to that new world. Or remind myself of my middle school self, when I was really into freeform and spoken word poetry. I thought I was so cool reading the stuff during lunch lols.

I'm staying away from the interest/hobby clubs because honestly, I don't have much of a strong interest in anything because I'm interested in everything. I'm really a dilettante.

I've also been to the gym about 5 out of 7 days this week. I definitely see progress already, mainly because I eat like a vegan yoga instructor. Although I look more toned, I'm hardly at all bigger. Because yes, I eat like a vegan yoga instructor. It's not my fault that I'm just not hungry most of the time.

I feel like my form's all wrong in the gym, though. Or I'm not doing things in the correct amount of sets or reps. Oh well. Overtime, I'll set a schedule for myself and figure out what works and what doesn't. I'd post a picture of progress but that's skanky. I can see the top two stacks of abs though. It's been years since that's happened. Oh yes, and I can make myself have cleavage if I tried really hard (and recently worked out).

But half of body sculpting is diet and again, my diet's not great. I need to supplement it or at least make it more consistent. I have two meals a day and I'm done. Both my meals combined would probably make one normal person's meal. I've been supplementing with a multivitamin but I think I need some extra protein and creatine as well.

Anyway, week ahead looks shitty. I dread my Arabic class. I've already started to sleep in my sociology class. Guh. On the school front, things ain't lookin' so pretty.