24 September 2009

segment

Visiting Irvine was really nice because:

  1. I got to go off campus

  2. I got to be in a car (which gave me the feeling of greater control)

  3. I got to hang out with Brian. It made me see that the world doesn't end and things don't change dramatically even when I come back to school. A sense of stability.



Anyway, it was nice. Very very nice.

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I get impatient with my parents. Whenever they call, I speak to them harshly, wanting the conversation to pass as quickly as possible.

I know it's bratty and I shouldn't be. I'm pretty lucky to have two parents who care enough to call.

It's only when I imagine myself in their position do I start to realize it though. Among the many things I need to work on changing, this is up there.

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I still read the card. It's almost two years old but I still like looking at it. Helps me sleep at night. The rational is that I'll tell myself whatever I gotta tell myself to make the days connect.

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I feel like I've regressed in terms of maturity. I've lashed out more. I've been more moody. I don't care about a lot of things. I'm jaded. I'm feeling a lot of things that I didn't get to feel in high school.

I hope at least this one is accompanied by a growth spurt.

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